The remedy to chaos is not structure but flow.
Written by founder, Rach Taylor.
Someone recently asked me what I wanted to achieve from a marketing course that I was undertaking. I replied “I want to feel like I am on a train. I want my life to coast along like the clickety-clack of a carriage on wooden tracks.” I want my life to have rhythm and flow. I want the moon to draw me to sleep and the sun to lift me up in the morning.
Even as a person who proclaims to keep spare time up her sleeve and move at a gentle pace—modern life can be hectic. My husband and I are parents to two beautiful young kids and on top of that we run two business whilst attempting to exercise, catch up with friends, see the world and sleep. The temptation is to hustle - you know?
I want to move at a gentle pace, this joyful life is not a race.
2020 was a pretty pivotal year for our family. We had just started our first-ever round of IVF and life was careering at a pace that was at odds with my nervous system. As a form of escapism, I used to dream about homesteading; keeping chickens, maintain a medicinal herb garden, growing my own food… why not shun real life? Who needs money anyway? We can live off the land! This dream was quickly scoffed by my husband who reminded me that we have bills to pay and the energy company don’t take fresh eggs as payment…but one can dream. I also knew deep down that I love to work with purpose and direction, to put my head down and create.
But I did recognise that my pace was not sustainable. I was in burnout mode, spinning plates. So much so, that if one extra plate were added to my load, I would drop them all. So what does one do when they are trying to slow down a fast-paced life? I started with what I knew best. Talking to my favourite women about how they slowed down their lives and, slowly but surely, little pearls of wisdom fell into my lap; profound anecdotes that became my guiding light to a life less hectic. Here is what I learnt so far.
Carving out pauses as opposed to life upheavals can work wonders for slowing us down. I used to think that I would have to make transformational change in my life in order to feel calm. What I have learned is that small habits can make a monumental difference to the pace of my day. After school drop-off I head to my desk and sit still for five minutes, light some incense and sip on tea whilst I revel in the silence; a small act of self-love that sets me up for the day. Shoulders relaxing down, heart rate slowing. Exhales getting longer, neck loosening. Noise dissolving into the silent abyss. These sweet respites are enough to reset my pace.
I work hard to honour my transitions. I have begun to see my movement between tasks as breathing space. I honour the passage from one activity to the next as a time to restart. Do nothing or do one thing. I shun anything that encourages me to multi-task in these moments, rather stare straight down the line of doing one thing at a time. I walk to a meeting and stare at the sky, drive to meet a friend in vast soundless peace (no podcasts in the car is a work in progress).
I try and preserve the long-form in my life. The activities that bind to make up the tapestry of my life are, by nature, rapid-fire and as a result all I crave is long and dare I say meandering activities. I want to read an article, not scroll a feed. I want to take a class, not watch a two minute tutorial. I want to cook from scratch, complete a crossword (Wordle I still love you), write with a pen and paper and chat with deep and meaningful intent. I, for one, dream not to flit like a butterfly, but laze like a pig in mud.
These small changes are the cobbles that pave my road to rhythm, daily habits that nudge my days into a rippling stream and whilst this pace might seem a luxury reserved for the few or even out of touch, for me they are necessary—for the alternative is not sustainable for my person.
For the time being, the term ‘Slow Living’ is in my sin bin. Maybe it can come out once I have retired, perhaps when our kids are teenagers. But for now, I know this is not an attainable life for me. The online world had semi-convinced me that the answer was black and white; but as I started to scratch at the surface, I realised there was so much shade within these anecdotes of people’s experience with slowing down.
Will you wander down this off-beat road?
To a place where time and melodies flow.
With shade to rest and plant your feet,
a page with margins for life so sweet.
I will end on some scribbles from my recent ramblings:
I chase the flow to find the slow,
and follow that road wherever it goes.
Drawn in by the moon,
released by the sun.
Float by the clouds,
til the day is done.
The light and the shade,
the sun and the moon.
The lulls are where,
your thoughts can bloom.
I long for still,
a moment to breathe.
To watch the breeze,
slip through the trees.
Let the rise and fall soothe your soul.
